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    June 13

    啊,这里变成森林了么

    兜兜转转,又回到这里来了~
    4年前我绝对不会想的到现在的我还坐在电脑前浪费手指力和脑力为自己的空间更新什么的
    以前的日记本什么的也早就封尘了吧,不知不觉在网络上写东西已经成了习惯
    我们走过space最盛行的日子,接着冷淡,接着校内不知不觉兴起
    换过几个地方,用着同样的不同的ID,写着同样的不同的文字
    可是内容无非是生活的琐碎还有现在的过去的感情
    唠唠叨叨地吐着苦水
    每每心里有了憋闷或者突然有了什么新的想法
    都要上来啰嗦一番
    或者假装明快地励志,给自己加油
    以为自己可以变得多坚强,让自己觉得自己已经长大
    嘛~至少让自己相信这些可以多一点自信

    但是有的时候,就像现在这样
    被压抑的怀疑还是会渐渐涌现上来
    本来那自卑的情绪也会开始出现
    恩,本来就是个蛮压抑的人,所谓死性难改~
    因为我知道,就算我如何掩饰,我还没有真正地相信过自己
    没有办法认可自己,所以总是处于这种游离的状态 = =

    愿望总是美好的,现实总是会有反差的
    然后我就习惯了吧愿望压低到最低的程度
    这样让自己至少不会失望
    嘛~这算是我这人生初级阶段的生活理念吧~(笑)

    而现在我不想再这样下去了
    也许兜兜转转之后还会回到这里
    但是我想在不同的路上看到不同的风景
    嘛~说的总是好听的
    对于这样没有目标缺乏毅力的我到底能走到什么地方
    我自己都在怀疑
    但是
    我想选择相信
    相信我自己的能力,相信我可以越来越相信我自己,认可我自己
    就算跌倒也好绝望也好
    就算碰触不到也好
    也想找到属于我的翅膀飞翔

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